When I think of Bridesmaids, I always think back to the movie “Revenge of the Bridesmaids,” where they sabotage anything and everything leading up to the wedding day. First let me say, it is NOT required to have bridesmaids or anyone standing beside you, so do not feel pressured into having to choose anyone. However, if you do choose to have Bridesmaids and a Maid/Matron of honor, your first rule is… Do NOT choose bridesmaids like we see in the comical wedding movies!
On a more serious note, choosing bridesmaids and asking them to be your bridesmaids is such a fun job! It really helps to know your specific wedding duties beforehand, because it helps in the long run. It is important to know the wedding courtesies of being a bridesmaid or MOH.
For your Maid/Matron of honor, most people usually choose a sister, family member, or a really close friend, and this person is responsible for all the extras that come along with planning a wedding. So, make sure you choose someone that is willing to handle it all! (Now, they are not required to do these items, but it is common wedding courtesy for the MOH to do so).
Leading up to the wedding:
- Always be free to help the bride with vendors and venues, this is such an important part of the wedding. It is important for the bride to know your honest opinion on different locations, flowers, cakes, music, and even food, especially if she is wanting to more so create a fun and easy going reception.
- Help organize the bridesmaids. This is one that I really have seen go wrong. A strong MOH is necessary for this. Be the connecting point for all things wedding between the other girls and the bride. Know the ins and outs of the wedding and the planning to keep other girls in the loop. This can be anything from the dresses, shoes, jewelry, to even asking help from the other bridesmaids, especially the shower and bachelorette party.
- Host and plan the Bachelorette weekend and wedding shower. From past experience I feel this is a topic to really be discussed. I know that most people are not sure who is to throw the shower or the girls weekend, and it usually falls back to the MOH. The wedding shower can be planned and hosted by you, the MOH, but don’t be afraid to ask the bridesmaids or family for help. This shower is all about the BRIDE, so do not let her have to worry about planning her own shower. Let her feel special in the moment with a shower thrown just for her. The same can be said for the Bachelorette weekend.
- For the wedding shower, make sure you write down all gifts and who they are from, this helps when writing the thank you cards!
- Make sure to always know what is going on with the wedding planning and the bride, you will most likely be the communicator for all things wedding, and you’ll be answering a lot of questions.
- You are RESPONSIBLE for the bride. Stay with her, and make sure she stays on her wedding day timeline. Be her eyes, ears, and her brain! She’ll most likely be rushing around and might forget a thing or two.
- If you have time, visit the ceremony location and the reception location before the wedding, or check in with someone who is located there to make sure everything is running smoothly.
- Allow the bride to have quiet time before going down the aisle. Help keep her calm and tend to her hand and foot.
- Help with the veil and the train before processing.
- Get and keep the grooms ring for the ceremony.
- During the ceremony, hold the brides bouquet, and don’t forget to hand it back to her after she kisses her now husband!
- After the wedding, make sure to know where the bride’s belongings are (keys, wallet, extra clothes). This helps with the transition after the reception so no one is running around looking for it. It is best to locate them and take them with you when changing locations.
- Make a toast/ speech at the wedding.
- Last but not least, just be supportive and with her the entire time. She will definitely need the back up!
Bridesmaids, now it is your turn! Are you a bridesmaid and not sure what to do? Here are your tasks!
- OFFER TO HELP! This is so important, just don’t let the MOH do it all. Even ask the families if they need any help.
- Help choose bridesmaids dresses, shoes, and accessories. (You will also pay for your own items, unless otherwise notified).
- Help the MOH plan and cohost the wedding shower. Let the MOH take the reins, but don’t be afraid to reach out and help.
- Run any last minute errands for the bride or for the wedding. Be the backup in case anything goes wrong. Try to figure out wedding dilemmas on your own or with help from the MOH, family, or wedding planner. This helps keep the stress off of the bride.
- Attend the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and ceremony.
- Help the Bride carrying her train and dress when needed.
- Purchase a day of wedding present by yourself or with the other bridesmaids! This gift can be a more intimate special gift with your friend before she says “I Do!”
- Always provide emotional support for the bride and be supportive… even if the bridesmaid’s dresses are awful!
- Start the dancing! Let people know it is time to get up and get the party started
- Lastly, have fun! It was an honor you were chosen.